THE MARC D JOFFE, GEEKY FREAK, TRIBUTE PAGE!

MARC D JOFFE is this know-all, blow-hard, geeky FREAK who thinks he's "outspoken" because he's from that filthy, smut city of New York, where the majority of the world's JERKS come from!

Thanksgiving 2007 we were invited to his Albany, CA condo for what was in essense a memorial meal for a mutual relation who had recently passed away from stomach cancer.  He picked us up at the El Cerrito, CA BART(Bay Area Rapid Transit)station where we arrived by train roughly a half hour behind schedule.

"You're late. There's no food left. We ate at three o'clock. We told you to be here at three o'clock and we meant three o'clock," were the first rude words out of Joffe's freakish mouth.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" we'd already greeted  him in turn.

Had we not been in mixed company, more or less obligated to attend this get-together, we would've flipped the finger in Joffe the geeky FREAK's face, turned on our heel and headed straight back to BART to ride the next train home: any DECENT HOST would've put aside a proper portion of food for ALL guests, no matter how late they arrived.

Later on at that get-together, Joffe the geeky FREAK regaled us in sarcastic tones with a litany of his snide, stupid, witless and denigrating remarks--accentuated by his scoffing, smirking and FREAKY face--about our independent digital, on-demand publishing house, EPIC PRESS, to-wit:

• 
  
  "SELF-publishing isn't legitimate" like publishing through a traditional publishing house where such "best-selling authors" like Alan Greenspan and Hilary Clinton receive "advances" and publishing contracts.
  
  

Digital, on-demand isn't "self-publishing," rather it's simply publishing through a different technical format than traditional publishing(digital printing as opposed to offset web printing)with a different target market(online internet bookstores as opposed to brick-and-mortar bookstores).  And EPIC PRESS has quite a "legitimate" PUBLISHER account with Lightning Source Inc(LSI), including executed contracts, the digital printer and distributor for this country's MAJOR book distribution outlet, INGRAM.  NO-where on our account is Epic Press categorized as a "self-" publisher.  We're a PUBLISHER, period!

• 
  
  "You'll NEVER make ANY money" selling digitally, on-demand books at retail internet bookselling sites and "CAN'T" get our books stocked in brick-and-mortar bookstores where buyers can purchase them.
  
  

We already DO indeed "make money"(every single month on a 90-day distribution payment lag)selling digital, on-demand books at retail internet bookselling sites as those are our primary target market.  And not only CAN we get our books stocked in brick-and-mortar bookstores we already HAVE indeed done so through individual bookstore agreement.  It's called a CONSIGNMENT ORDER, you DUMB son-of-a-bitchin' geeky FREAK!  But then again, bookstores(and their customers)aren't our primary target market--retail internet bookstore customers are!  Get it?  Like, DUH?!  And whereas "authors" with traditional publishing contracts may take home less than ten percent of the net proceeds from sales of their books, we on the other hand take home the MAJORITY of net proceeds after the deduction of just printing and distribution costs.

• 
  
  "How much?"(money do we make)smugly asks the geeky FREAK with his scoffing, smirking and rather GHASTLY(and grisly)grin and upturned chin.
  
  

How much is NONE OF YOUR FUKING BUSINESS, FREAK! 

• 
  
  "You gotta eat," cracks the geeky FREAK after we tell him that we write and publish what we're impassioned about, not necessarily what makes a quick buck or turns a fast profit--or what Joffe the geeky FREAK thinks might be of greater profitable interest to the reading public!
  
  

Well, we're eating JUST FINE, Freak!  Besides, put us side-by-side any day of the week and it's pretty fuking CLEAR who's eating better nutritionally speaking!

Finally, the FREAK mocked my personal attainment to date of five(5)fitness trainer certifications: American Council On Exercise(ACE), International Sports Sciences Association(ISSA), National Academy Of Sports Medicine(NASM), National Council On Strength And Fitness(NCSF)and the National Federation of Personal Trainers(NFPT).

• 
  
  "Do you really think anybody cares if you have five certifications?  What good are they if they're not acquired for purposes of getting a(fitness trainer)job?" asks the geeky FREAK condescendingly?
  
  

Not being an expert fitness consultant, I suppose Joffe the geeky FREAK has never heard of expert CREDENTIALS and CONTINUING EDUCATION, which in the fitness trade is REQUIRED on a regular basis as fitness trainer certifications expire every two years. One of the best and easiest ways to fulfill continuing education requirements is simply to earn an additional certificate

Besides which, Joffe the geeky FREAK, who looks like the troll from beneath the bridge, and  who's spent literally years of WASTED time, effort and untold amounts of MONEY working out with a supposed 24-Hour Fitness "trainer," who's hardly a true fitness practitioner and whom Joffe the geeky FREAK regards as being little more than his private fitness CHEERLEADER.  That's "motivating," Joffe the geeky FREAK most mistakenly thinks.

What's truly "motivating" in fitness, my dear readers, are REAL--not fantasized, wistfully-wished-for RESULTS! 

The TRUTH of which applies as equally to the publishing as the fitness trade, witness our poetry title by Desirena Cortijo, My Journey Home: Changes Through Writing, which is required reading in a Berkeley Community College English course.

What makes independent publishing most fulfilling in the end isn't the bottom line profit margin(or lack thereof)but rather the attainment and satisfaction of its writers, which we're reminded of in a most heartfelt way this very Christmas season of 2009 by these two little notes of gratitude from EDWIN B MASSEY JR, our other published poet and author of his Complete Compendium of Poetry:

• 
  
  "Thank you, Joe, for getting me published."
  
  
• 
  
  "Thank you, kindly, for your many good deeds you have given to me.  God Bless you, Sir."
  
  

All we can say is, in closing, that such are words expressing sentiments which the geeky FREAKS of the world whose sole shallow ambition and reason for living is superficial material attainment--as personified by the like of MARC D JOFFE and his ilk--couldn't conceivably comprehend had he all the time and money in the world!

MARC D JOFFE's not just a geeky FREAK, he's a SUPREMELY PATHETIC one at that!  We'd much rather be an illegitimate publisher than an illegitimate human being any day of the week!

The FACE of a geeky FREAK: